Toasters ALWAYS Return
by Moonsetta
Summary: After losing 'Smelted Smoker,' Mikey takes a trip to the toaster graveyard, recounting every loss the kitchen has went through. Includes: soda, rocket ship mimicking, bad luck, karma and the end to a wonderfully planned waffle buffet. Countdown:7


Mikey sighed as he caught the gleaming, slanted eyes of it, glaring at him from across the room. The youngest turtle sighed, grabbed the small garden shovel they kept in the cupboard. He crossed the room and scooped up the pile of slightly melted medal.

"Don't tell me," another voice said, this one very drowsy.

Mikey looked back to see Donny stumble into the kitchen and head strait for the coffee maker.

"Dude, with how much you use that thing, I'm surprised we don't go through coffee makers as much as we do toasters."

"Anything in this place can be ruined, Raph can beat on it, you can pour soda in it, Master Splinter can think about it and Leo can just exist and it will mess up."

The youngest turtle opened his mouth to reply and then closed it before shaking his head. Donny was right.

…

As always.

Raph came in next, yawning still at noon, "Did Leo walk into the kitchen again?" Raph asked when he spotted the smoking metal thing in Mikey's hands and the shovel in the other, "Or did Splinter try to mentally communicate with it again?"

The orange masked turtle looked over the thing closely, "Judging by the appearance I'd say it was a combination of both."

Raph sighed, particularly irritated, "We have GOT to keep those two away from technology."

"To think, we just lost Big Mama last week," Mikey said with a shake of his head, "She was good. Made six at once."

"Another one bites the dust," Raph commented, walking around Mikey and 'Smelted Smoker' to get to the fridge.

"You heading out?" Don asked.

Mikey nodded, "Tell Leo and Master Splinter for me."

Both the red and purple masked turtles nodded as their younger brother left the lair.

* * *

><p>Once in the sewer tunnel Mikey made his way to an old, boarded up tunnel, which he quickly found the loose board on and squeezed through. The water had long been drained out of this tunnel and it was also long abandoned. He found the light switch next to the tunnel exit and flipped it up. Good thing Don had fixed those lights that had long been broken down from time.<p>

The orange banded turtle looked at one gravestone and then another before taking a deep breath and making his way to the furthest plot, simply remembering as he passed each standing grave marker.

_Fried _

OK, so he had been young. Very young. He simply wanted to know if it would float or sink in the bathtub. Needless to point out, it hadn't floated. It had fought back. With sparks of electricity and they had been pretty, like a miniature fireworks display, but they had hurt when he tried to catch one.

Wouldn't it be cool if you could actually catch the streams of light fireworks let out? He thought it would be cool.

_Sparky_

_Sparky _had been one of the confusing ones, which started Don's theories of if indeed robots had emotions and had the ability to hold grudges. Especially against Splinter. The rat was not good with any technology at all. He had learned the TV remote, but that was about as far as he got. They had all walked in one morning to see their father glaring at the toaster they just found at the local dump, since _Fried _had just left them a day before.

And amazingly, right before their eyes, the toaster seemed to implode underneath their father's glare. The side fell in, then the next side, then the top slid right off. The elderly rat smiled and grabbed up his cup of green tea, which was still steaming, proving that he had not been there for long. When he turned to stare at his sons, they jumped back into the living room and hid behind furniture. If his glare did that to a toaster in a matter of minutes…or seconds then…what would it do them?

When their father had retreated to his own room, the turtles looked in, seeing springs and the power cable jumping around as electricity flew away from the machinery parts.

_Crash_

That had been Donny's fault actually. Raph had gotten angry that Don's radio controlled car had beaten his at a race, so he tore the body off. It still ran, it just looked rather plain, given it was only a slab of black plastic on wheels. So Don had, being just a toddler, had taken the toaster apart and used a lot of its parts for a new RC monster truck body. Unfortunately, fragile, non-insulated, miniature, mechanical parts tended to get pliable and spark at certain speeds as it was pushed against the sewer walls. It didn't take long for it to earn its name when it spun out of control and crashed into Raph's RC car and then the promptly, the wall.

_Captain-I-Got-Thrown-Through-A-Brick-Wall_

Now _this one_, had been Casey's fault much later in life. They had learned to live without a toaster for some time until April brought them another one when she noticed that they didn't have one. Casey came along, and to make a long story short, made everyone mad one way or another and annoyed Raph to the point that he began searching for the huge sledge hammers Don had hidden all over the lair. Unfortunately, the last comment Casey said to Raph had the red banded turtle slinging the guy into the nearest wall, which was unfortunately, where the toaster had been.

Don had moved it since he had to use its original outlet to test some appliances April had recently just got in at her shop, asking if he could inspect them for damage.

Casey and the Captain had both went through the wall that day. Especially afterwards when Casey had decided to get out before he made Raphael angrier whereupon Raph grabbed the toaster and ran after him, throwing it through another wall.

_Sir-Fork-Slayed_

Leo had this uncanny ability to stare at kitchen appliances, especially the toaster, and somehow mess up. Of course when Donny had had a problem with a computer completely freezing up and all of his work doing nothing to affect it, Leo had threatened to walk into the room and it had started right up again, working perfectly from then on!

It made Mikey wonder if Leo had ever met the Grim Reaper. What if they had some kind of deal going on? Well, _Sir-Fork-Slayed_, had met his end when Leo had tried to retrieve a shuriken that had fallen down inside the toaster with a fork. Metal fork plus hot toaster equaled a shocking reaction.

_Sprite Spazz_

Plain and simple. Splinter had tried the specific soda for the first time and spit it back out. All over the toaster. Poor thing. It hadn't stood a chance.

_Boom_

_Boom_ had gained the titled of second most mysterious. As soon as your toast or waffles were done, it exploded, spewing parts and pieces all over the floor. Strangely though, he could always be repaired, but always went _boom _when someone tried to cook with it. Eventually, _both _Don and Raph got tired of fixing the thing and threw it out.

_Rocket Ship_

He had lasted the longest. Strangely though, it was Leo who had bought it at the local market. They were all amazed that it had actually worked. They had had it for years afterwards, but it had this strange way of cooking. You know in cartoon shows where the toast shoots out of the toaster and about three feet into the air? Well in this case, the toast stayed in the toaster when it was done, but, the _toaster _itself was the one that flew up to the ceiling every time you cooked with it.

It survived though until one time when the ceiling had been too low for its preferences.

_The Shuriken Chewer_

Somehow shuriken always found their way into this particular toaster. It would chew them up and spit them back out at whoever was closest. Unfortunately, it also did this with food. So cooking with it was pretty useless.

_Big Mama_

She had been beautiful, stainless steel body, 20 heat settings and able to cook six of anything at one time in a matter of seconds. Unfortunately, she had found her path of destruction when local sewer mice had decided to take an interest in her and had simply carried her off into the night, being spotted my Michelangelo late at night when he had gotten hungry for waffles.

So now here, the orange banded turtle was, patting loose dirt over their latest loss, _Smelted Smoker_.

What Mikey didn't see though, was that as he turned around, cords grew out of the ground, dragging silver springs and metal pieces after them, the crank of the springs cursing the names of the family.

The light went out and the toasters stood.

The turtles would pay…

* * *

><p>Evil, haunted toasters. *Shrug* it could be worse.<p>

(Figure jumps from shadows): I AM THE WAFFLE IRON OF DOOM! I HAVE COME FOR MY REVENGE!

Maybe I shouldn't have thrown him out last week.

DIE!

AH! When did I give you a laser cannon!

DDDDDIIIIIEEEEE!

Please excuse me while I run for my life. AAAAHHHH!

The turtles sit on the sidelines.

Raph: This is a good show.

Don: Finally, something's trying to kill her.

Mikey: Now I want waffles.

Leo: She does realize she could just unplug it right?

Raph: Fearless, don't ruin this for us.

AAAAHHHHH!

~Moonsetta


End file.
